This is perhaps the most raw entry I have done to this point. I have lived my life by the mantra “If you think you have it bad, someone else has it worse.” That is something I was taught in my formative years. Dealing and trying to navigate through life as a child abuse survivor has been challenging, but someone has it worse. I do not say that with even the slightest ounce of sarcasm; it is something I truly believe in. Through personal trauma, I believe God has given me two things I gravitated toward in the early years of my life: Star Wars and the rock band KISS. So how are they an olive branch and not idols in my heart? Let’s dive in.
Two separate events in the spring/summer of 1977, as a 6-year-old, would flood me with thoughts and a calmness that had, by and large, been absent up until that year. Star Wars was released in May of that glorious year. Seeing it for the first time, I gravitated to the character of Luke Skywalker. Learning his dad had fought in a war and he was orphaned and lived with an aunt and uncle. The question in my six years of life was, “I wonder if his mom beat him to it?”
My biological father had been sent to Vietnam to fight in the war. When that happened, war broke out in our apartment. My biological mother, most likely suffering from some sort of mental health issue, beat my sister and me and would get drunk and pass out throughout the day.
My sister and I would eventually be placed in foster care, and with the biggest olive branch God could have blessed me with, I was adopted, and the life God has intended for me would begin to take shape. My sister suffers the same mental health issues, which leads me to strongly believe it is a curse.
Later that summer I was standing in a neighbors driveway with some kids and one asked me if I ever listened to KISS. I had no idea it was a band; I thought it was something you puckered up and gave someone. “No,” I remember telling the person. He ran into the house and brought out a copy of “Destroyer.” “Do you want to listen to this?” he asked. “Yes,” I replied.
We went inside, and he turned on the turntable, and out came pure joy. From the albums first track, “Detroit Rock City,” to the last, “Do Ya Love Me,” it brought me pure joy and temporary relief from thoughts that I had swirling in my head most of the time.
As a Christian, I know full well the dangers of making things an idol in my heart. That said, I do believe there are times that the Lord gives an olive branch as a way to bring relief that perhaps is just what an individual needs. It is up to that person to either make an idol out of it or not.
To this day, I still watch Star Wars movies and listen to KISS (again, the original band members’ albums) because it takes me back to 1977 when things were presented to me, and very slowly over the decade, my life and, more importantly, my thoughts began to shift.
