The 11 year tick

Time moves fast at times and slow at other times. What happens between the minute change can be beneficial, the tick. The tick prepares us for another moment of life, another reset, victory or failure. For myself and my then new family (I am adopted) in 1975 we were given an 11 year tick. This tick would qualify as a reset, in my opinion. One that would come with tension, confusion, love and changed perception.

Picture a wife and husband who on the heels of losing a three year old child, chose to put on a brave face and  continue with life (not an easy task) and adopt a child. That child who had been abused and placed in foster care along with his sister.

Taz, Tweety, Sylvester and Daffy Duck during Daffy Duck For President Rally to Celebrate the Release of “Looney Tunes Golden Collection Volume Two” at Sherman Oaks Galleria in Sherman Oaks, California, United States. (Photo by Mark Sullivan/WireImage for The Lippin Group)

Now that you have that in your mind, picture a biological mother who had mental health issues which lead to child abuse. In the 1970’s things like autism and bi-polar were not as well identified as they are now a days. So there is no real way of knowing the mental issues that the mother had. What seems apparent is she passed those same mental issues to the sister. That sister was much like the Looney Tunes, Tasmanian Devil when she came for visits. The sheer destruction she would leave at the end of visits was breathtaking and not in a good way.

In the 11 year tick, grieving parents, a child who was abused and placed in foster care moved out of the state they resided in and to a new state. That move proved to be beneficial. Sometimes to get away and out of places and areas that caused daily pain can be healing. Along with learning to be a family while trying to shed the awkwardness of not being biologically related without those constant painful reminders can also be beneficial.

When the family moved back to the state they lived before the tick, they were better equipped to handle a less than ideal past.

Do you have a tick? A time that allowed you space to heal, reset, gain victory or even fail?

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